Letting go...

As a mother, I'm constantly reminded that there are times I can't be everywhere. For me, this is bittersweet. I'm lucky that I have a hubby and friends who help out. For that, I'm grateful.

However, there are moments that I don't want to miss. A lot of these trace back to my memories of being a child and having my mother with me...

Recently, I had one of those moments when I had to let go, when I had to let Doug take charge.

Monday night as the girls were headed to bed, Emma started to complain about a tummy ache. It became more serious as the tears started streaming down her face. By 8:00, she was in the bathroom with her head in the toilet. Once she stopped the first round of vomiting, she started to cry, "But you have your test tomorrow!"

True... For the past week, I had been studying for a state test on the civil rights of students -- my head crammed full of law cases and their implications in the classroom. And I have to admit that when my daughter first mentioned her tummy ache, I immediately thought of my test early the next morning.

I reassured Emma that it wasn't a big deal, and we'd work out. I headed to bed early to make sure I was rested up for the test, and sure enough, at 10:30, I heard the cry, "Mama!"

Doug greeted me at the top of the stairs as I headed out of my bedroom -- toward the cry. He redirected me back to bed with a "Let me take care of this."

I wish I could say that I fell right back to sleep, but I didn't. I laid there, listening, waiting.

I woke at 12:30, 1:30 and then 3:30 as the cries switched from "Mama!" to "Daddy!"

Every time I woke. my mommy instinct was in full force, and it was all I could do not to charge out and hold Em's head and try to make it all better. Memories of MY mother with her cold hand on my forehead, a wet washcloth waiting for me, and a glass of 7UP to follow everything up...

Part of learning that I can't be on call 24x7 is letting go. For me, it's letting others help, and I readily admit that I'm not always good at that.

But it's more than just that: it's about sharing those moments. And perhaps I've been selfish in NOT wanting to share them -- the sweet hugs, the kind moments of appreciation from a child when they start to feel better, the times when I can TRULY take care of my kiddos again -- without them insisting that they're FINE.

But for now, it's MY turn to tend to my hubby who now has that same tummy bug...